I had said that I had wanted it to be colder to help sales in the shop and so we could get some snow, but I think I changed my mind. It is really cold today and the wind just makes it worse. I really only like the cold when it is snowing; if it isn’t snowing then I would like warm temperatures. I felt bad when I went over to play at a friend’s house and I didn’t put Lance’s winter coat on, but I didn’t think it was that cold out and it didn’t look cold outside. Lance had a good time playing with Lucy this morning, it is funny how he was very possessive with his toys and won’t share. I didn’t realize that he really even knew what was his and what wasn’t. He is really pulling up on everything and getting better everyday. He is currently standing beside his toy shelves, it is so amazing how he does new things everyday. It is also amazing how every baby is different. Lucy who is only a few weeks younger than Lance can move her arms to a song and eats solids pretty well, but Lance can crawl and stand up. Today has really flown by and I can’t believe it is already time to cook dinner.
soaking up sunshine
I can’t get believe how fast he is growing up. He can go from laying down to sitting up back down to crawl. He is my sunshine.
so big!
I am just amazed how quickly Lance is growing. He is now pulling up on things and trying his hardest to stand up. He just started real crawling last week and now he seems to want to walk. All of this trying to stand also means lots of falls which though tramatic for him means lots of cuddle time for m. He has started to dance, well more bob to the music, but I think it is really cute. He also is a lot more vocal especially when things don’t go his way, it is kind of scary. Last night, during a late night feeding I thought he was done and began to change his diaper, he wasn’t and he was so mad that I was not letting him eat, he screamed at the top of his lungs. I think I might have a stong-willed child like I have seen books for, I shouldn’t be surprised since I am very strong-willed. He also has gotten very attached to one of his blankets. We hoped that he would get attached to receiving blankets since we have an abundance of them and he kind of us, but he is really starting to favor a crochet blanket a teacher I worked with gave him. He loves to stick his fingers through it and get himself all wrapped up in it. He just took a tumble and bumped his head and is all curled up with blanket, I love this cuddly baby and I know I need to enjoy every moment because it will be gone before I know it.
a schedule, i wish
This week I have tried to establish a schedule. Wednesday and Thursday we got a schedule down, I was excited that it happened so easily and quickly. Today the schedule has been totally out the window. One thing I have learned about motherhood- change occurs all the time and you can’t expect anything to continue. When I was a nanny I had both boys on a schedule and they were very predictable, Lance there is nothing predictable about him. I am a bit tired because instead of his usual 5 am feeding (usual being the last two weeks with one exception) Lance was hungry at 2. He had been getting up at 8 or 9 this morning he was up at 7, in fact he was up before the alarm clock. I was expecting Lance to sleep in since it is a rainy day, but nope he was ready to go. I have not gotten anything done that I have wanted to do today, but it is all good because I have been very productive the last couple of days and I can have one unproductive day. Okay, Lance has decided that he really doesn’t want a nap now though he hasn’t slept all afternoon.
what to do
I was having problems with Blogger so I was thinking about switching to this blog, but Blogger updated and it works better so which Blog to keep? Me being my ridiculous self has both going, I need to get a life.
a commitmentphobe
I don’t even know if a commitmentphobe is really a word, but I am afraid of commitment. I wasn’t always like this, having a baby really changes everything. Before Christmas I was working at our store so Jeff could pick up more hours at his morning job, but it was very helpful. In order for the business to succeed he needs to put a lot of time and effort into it and he can’t if he is only there for four hours and I am there for two hours and not helping. I had a love-hate relationship with my work schedule, I did not like going in because it was in the middle of my day and I couldn’t always get important stuff done, but I enjoyed helping customers and spending time with Jeff once he got to work (we never left right after he got there so even more time was wasted, but it wasn’t really because we were spending time together). This week I have been babysitting after school for the two children I used to nanny for, it is fun and it looks like this arrangement could last longer than just this week. I would rather do this everyday then work at our store, but I would rather not have to work at all then babysit. If I wasn’t babysitting then we could go to the store, though I don’t know if we would be any help, but I still need to work on bringing more women’s clothing and accessories to the store. I just don’t know what to do. I also don’t know why I am stressing about this so much, it isn’t like teaching where I have to sign a contract, I could do this for a month and if it isn’t working out do something else. Why am I such an extremist? I make things so much harder than they need to be.
9 loads
Yesterday I did laundry and I did laundry and I did laundry. I did 9 loads and I did two more this morning. When I got in bed last night at 11 I did not want to fold another item for weeks, but since I wasn’t quite done I knew it was only going to be 12 hours before I was folding again, but now it can be awhile, a few days! Everything in my house is clean, it is nice! Today Lance and I have been working on putting away the Christmas decorations which makes me sad because I love them. Our tree which we took down on Sunday was my favorite tree ever, and my new ornanments for the dining room and window greenery looked nice, and then I always feel sad putting away the navitiy, but if I left it out all year it wouldn’t be special. On an exciting note Lance can go from lying down to sitting up. Lance woke me up this morning and before I went into his room I jumped in the shower since it takes him while to wake up. When I did go in I was surprised to see Lance sitting up. I did not know he could go from laying down to sitting up. When Jeff came home from lunch I told him the exciting news, he wasn’t impressed and said that he had seen him do that before. I was still pretty excited. He has also started kind of bobbing his head to music, it is really cute. I tried to get him dancing on the video camera but he just smiled and he also wouldn’t do it for Jeff. Oh well, it can be our secret. Well I should get back to putting away Christmas decorations so I can be done.
holding on
I can’t believe that I stayed awake for midnight, I didn’t think I could, but I did. It was very weird though because as it was getting closer and closer to midnight I wanted to stop time and not let the minutes pass to a new year. 2006 was quite a year and I wasn’t quite sure I was ready for a new year. 2006 brought Lance and time is passing by so quickly, babies grow up way to fast. It brought new friends and old friends moved away. It brought us to a new church, me a new way of life (not teaching), and a lot of stress because we have to rely on the shop to provide for us instead of my teaching salary. I have been trying to think of some new year’s resolutions so here they are:
1- I will not be controlled my family members especially how they make me feel
2- I will exercise 5 days a week ( I have gotten pretty slack lately, I hate cold weather)
3- I will make new friends to replace those who have moved away and put more effort into cultivating my friendships that I have now (once again I have been a slacker)
4- I will spend more time daily praying because that is the only way we are going to make it
5- I will get one house project done a month, I shouldn’t expect Jeff to get everything I want done done when he only has one day off
could my arms have gotten longer
Today I realized that I am not ready to have three children. Today was day 2 of babysitting and it wasn’t bad, but I don’t have the patience for the constant bickering back and forth between a 6 year old and a 5 year old. The day weny by quickly and Lance wasn’t harassed too much, but I am tired and don’t know how people do it everyday. Looking back I am impressed by how much we did: had breakfast, played a computer game, got dressed, lance took a nap, made a picnic lunch, had picnic lunch in tree house, played outside, read lance ten or so books, went to kids cove to play, went by the bank, then home. I remember at 10 looking at the clock and thinking that the day was going by slowly, but the next thing I knew it was 3:30.
I also came to a realization today that some of my favorite long sleeve tops that fit pre-pregnancy are to short and are almost 3/4 sleeves, but not that short so they are just annoying. Now that I think of it most of my shirts don’t fit that well, I guess my shoulders expanded maybe. I just wish I could find clothes that fit and were comfortable, maybe one day.
busy, busy, busy
I keep expecting everything to be over with. I am so programmed with a school schedule I keep getting the feeling that life is going to change and the vacation is over with. We have been very busy at the store leading up to Christmas which is awesome. We keep trying to figure out whether the store is worth keeping or is it time to find something else, it is just so confusing.
Lance got way too many toys at Christmas and what is funny, the simplest thing, a rattle that was in his stocking is his favorite. Lance was great all day even though it was sensory overload and people overload as well. I got Jeff a bicycle for Christmas and though he would tell you know he knew that is what he was getting, he didn’t! I am happy to see him really excited about something. Jeff took Tuesday off which I know did him a lot of good because up till Christmas he worked 14 days straight. Lance and I let him sleep in by hitting the stores for after Christmas sales. It was sad to see the spirit of Christmas gone in the aisle of Target, people were very rude and quite ruthless. Lance did great despite going shopping for several hours. I even got to run in Old Navy and do a little clothes shopping for myself since nothing fits anymore. I can’t believe how much has happened lately. Lance had his 8 month birthday on Monday. He is 8 months, time really flies by. I can’t believe how things have changed and that we are still nursing after such a rough start we had. Oh yeah and Lance really crawled for Jeff on Tuesday, he still will do his “army crawl” when he wants to get somewhere in a hurry, but he started to crawl, another milestone down. Sometimes when I get thinking too much I get kind of bummed because life will never be the same, next year he won’t be our little baby, yeah we might one day have another baby, but it isn’t the same when you have to share your energy with one. Okay, getting bummed about how time flies and things are changing so quickly and we can’t go back so I must change subject. Yesterday and tomorrow we are babysitting, life with three is very challenging, but fun. I hope to get a good night sleep tonight so I will have lots of energy to put into three boys, I need to think of some fun activities to do with them. Over the last week I have come to the realization that we need a bigger car, it saddens me because I love our car, but it just isn’t practical. I don’t know how we could afford something else, but with Lance’s new carseat and his gear there just isn’t room for anything else. Well I have rambled enough for one night, need to go fix dinner.
